Meet Ben Lucas - Gotcha4Life Facilitator

Ben Lucas

Gotcha4Life Facilitator

Storytelling has always been Ben’s superpower, from public speaking with Toastmasters aged 7, to connecting with audiences as a talkback radio host, marketing strategist and now, as a facilitator bringing mental fitness to everyone from kids to corporates for Gotcha4Life. Here he shares the story behind the most difficult – and important – conversations he’s ever had. 

The journey begins

My dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer when I was in high school. He was given nine months, but lived for four and a half years.

I’d felt very supported all through high school. But after he passed away as I started Year 12, suddenly it was me doing all the supporting.

A student’s mum was diagnosed with brain cancer. He called and asked me to come over. I got there and he said, ‘My mum’s about to die and I don’t know what to do. What do I do?’. 

I was only 17 and I was coaching another 17 year old through that. I told him what I’d learnt from my own experience. To open up and say everything you want to say. Don’t leave anything unsaid. To ask his mum to write something down for him, a message he could hold onto. But mostly, talk.

When another student’s father took his own life during year 12, we were paired for camp and other activities. We were two kids who’d been through big stuff, losing a parent. 

As we spent time together, he was able to slowly open up share things with me about losing his dad to suicide and what he was going through. It helped him, and it gave me an interesting perspective. 

I’d had so much more time with my dad than we expected. I was given so much time to work things out. Others weren’t. My schoolmate lost his dad without warning. 

Supporting the other guys in my year was a lot for me to deal with at that age, but I immediately felt a real sense of purpose. I’ve been through this, now I can help and support others too.

I started with my mates.

I told them, 'When my dad was sick, you would all ask me how he was going. But when he died, the questions stopped. It’s awkward and you don’t know what to say, but real mateship is checking in on each other. This is how we do it.’

Then in my early 20s, I lost some people to suicide. I’d watched my dad fight for life and show me how precious that was. And these beautiful young men in my life, who I thought had everything going for them, were secretly trying to escape it. And no-one knew.

We’re good at giving support when we can see somebody is sick or injured. But we’re not so great at identifying things we can’t see.

A line in the sand

I got my friends together again and said ‘We’re drawing a line in the sand. From here on, we’re having the tough conversations and we’re looking after each other’.

That’s how I first fell into the mental health space. I created a tool to help people check in with each other. My radio boss introduced me to an opportunity to talk about mental health first aid at a mining site. And that led to an introduction to Gotcha4Life. 

Now I share my story in Gotcha4Life mental fitness presentations and workshops for corporates, sport and community groups, and schools.

Working with all ages has made one thing very clear to me. The sooner the better. We need to build awareness and skills in kids from a young age.

The later we start, the further upstream we have to swim. In high school workshops, we’re already trying to undo so much unhelpful, negative behaviours they’ve formed. 

We need to reach kids earlier, so they’re more aware and comfortable with emotions and acknowledging and sharing their feelings, and connecting with people in their lives so they don’t get conformed back into a ‘no emotion’ box in high school.

Teaching the teacher

We do that through our Mentally Fit Primary Schools program, and we start with teachers. They do everything for everyone else, often at their own expense. When I run teacher sessions and ask who has said ‘I’m too busy to be sick’, a lot of hands go up. 

We tell them, you have to look after yourself, to look after your students. You have to make time for this, for your own self-care, because no one else can do it for you. And we help them do it.

Changing minds and lives

You see the moments of realisation.

You can feel the attitude shifting and changing when we do activities around vulnerability or acknowledging difficult feelings. 

You can hear them talk about feeling more connected to each other afterwards, and realising they’re not alone in what they’re going through.

And you can see behaviour changing.

If tears come up in a workshop, it’s usually my job to say, that’s OK.

Now, when we return for second or third sessions, the participants just naturally take on that role of supporting and reassuring each other. 

That’s powerful to see. That’s the power of the program.

You can help equip more people to live

Every donation powers Gotcha4Life to keep developing and delivering life-changing programs and initiatives to equip more people with the mental fitness skills to live.